Your weekly dose of no-BS straight talk that will take you from driven but distracted to focused, fired up, and flame retardant.
Caution: Listening to this podcast will be detrimental to your limiting beliefs and may result in enlargement of your possibilities for success.
o29 - Not Giving a Fuck
Is it possible to absolutely not care about other people's opinions or what others are doing? I don’t think so. I don't think it's realistic to expect ourselves to have no amount of reactivity when our behavior triggers a reaction in someone that we perceive as judgment or criticism.
What should we do when we feel rejected or hurt by the opinion of others?
Not Giving a Fuck
How do you feel and what do you do when someone you care about tells you that your plans and goals won’t work or points out what they least like about you? Is it possible to absolutely not care about other people's opinions or what others are doing? I don’t think so. I don't think it's realistic to expect ourselves to have no amount of reactivity when our behavior triggers a reaction in someone that we perceive as judgment or criticism.
What should we do when we feel rejected or hurt by the opinion of others?
Sleep Your Way to Success with Special Guest Yishan Xu
Many entrepreneurs are not getting enough sleep. This is partly due to the hustle culture of entrepreneurship and partly because they tend to bootstrap their business, even when they can afford to hire or outsource. I work with female entrepreneurs who identify with ADHD traits, very few of them are getting the kind of sleep that they know they should (and wish they could.)
In this interview, we will be talking about how sleep is essential for entrepreneurs, how to get quality sleep, and the do’s and dont’s of sleeping (among others).
Learning and Unlearning
There are many who would like to become entrepreneurs but do not know where to start. Some might get discouraged because they think that they are not “born” to be one. I’m still not certain I believe that there's such a thing as an entrepreneurial personality type, but there are definitely traits that lend themselves well to self-employment.
If you are currently struggling in running your business, want to start your very first entrepreneurial journey, or simply want to better understand the traits of a successful entrepreneur, this episode is for you.
How to Do Boring Stuff
Do you procrastinate on doing things even though they are important? When we run a business, we need to do the boring yet important stuff, but sometimes we only do them when we “feel” like it or when we are running out of time.
Doing important things at the last minute can give us feelings of guilt, shame, and regret.
In this episode, I will share 4 techniques that you can use in order to complete those important, but boring tasks.
Getting What You Want
After years of being who everyone else needs them to be, many women feel lost and don’t even know what they really want. Once they reach their 40s or 50s, many women face the question “What am I going to do with the rest of my life?” Most of them have never really felt comfortable putting their own goals first.
What happens when we find ourselves at a point in life when we actually have the opportunity to think about ourselves?
The Way Women Win
You may have witnessed some women trying to bring others down in order to become successful. You may even have experienced this in your business and in your personal life as well. As we see a rise in the number of women starting their own businesses, having competitors is inevitable. How do we deal with the inevitability of competition in a healthy way?
There is no inherent contradiction between wanting to be successful and honoring your competitor.
Becoming an Entrepreneur
The number of people who have chosen the path of entrepreneurship has been growing for the past few years. Many people are starting their own businesses and it has become a lot easier with the help of technology. Why are people leaving their corporate jobs and starting their own businesses? Entrepreneurs often get asked, “Why did you choose to become an entrepreneur?” There are plenty of reasons why people chose the path to entrepreneurship.
Productivity Doesn't Mean Getting More Done
How do we measure productivity? If you’re like me, you can always be so busy, yet still, be nowhere near your goals. We get busy checking off multiple tasks every day and still feel like we are missing something.
Many, including me, thought that being busy is the same as being productive, but productivity is not about getting more done, it's about getting the right things done. It’s about making decisions on how to spend our time, energy, and attention on where it matters most.
They did not see their child as less than anything or anyone because of his ADHD. They created a lifestyle that supported him in believing it too. They allowed him to develop his interests and follow his curiosity.
We can also use this approach to ADHD in our lives. We see, think, and do things differently from others, and I believe that we should use it to our advantage & seek support for those things that, for us, are a little challenging. Conforming to the norm doesn’t have to be our goal.
How to Handle Being Forgetful
If you feel afraid to offend, hurt, or disappoint people, over the years, this can take a toll on self-esteem. I also know some people who simply start pulling back from others and playing small in their business and life in order to avoid letting others and themselves down because their memory is so unreliable.
How then should we handle being forgetful? In this episode, I share with you some of the steps I took to overcome anxiety & disappointment due to forgetfulness.
Born This Way?
What fires up a woman’s engine and starts her on the road to becoming a driven woman?
We are surrounded by these women, and sometimes we wonder where they get their drive and how they stay determined to achieve their goals.
We have seen a lot of women who did not have everything they needed to be successful from the start, but they were able to work their way up despite their circumstances, despite what society told them about their potential.
The Need for Speed
If we continue to suppress our need for speed and slow down in order to act more like others, we will feel out of touch with ourselves. It would not feel natural and sometimes, it leads to anxiety and depression. We would constantly worry about what other people would think.
As a driven woman, we need to honor our true nature and our need for speed. Forget about receiving approval or asking permission to be yourself. You don’t have to slow down. There are many more skillful ways to handle the problem of being out of sync with the rest of the world.
Tall Poppies and Jealous Crabs
It’s easy to observe the “tall poppy syndrome” and “crab mentality” everywhere we go, once you know what to look for. Crab mentality is a behavior observed in crabs when they are in a bucket. When one crab gets on top and is on its way to freedom, another crab grabs it and pulls it down. The tall poppy syndrome is an Australian expression that refers to the behavior of people who cut down those who are more successful, confident, and achieve more than them.
The Early Bird Gets More Than Worms
One of the changes that many people would love to make is waking up early in the morning to get more things done. For some people, it has become a habit and they find it easy, but for others, it is something that they continue to struggle with.
Waking up earlier than usual is not going to happen naturally, not without commitment and not without training. In this episode, I share how I did it, and why.
Just in Time vs Just in Case
One thing that we need to be mindful of is if we are actually over-preparing by learning everything right now, even though we don’t need them at this moment or in the near future.
I would like to share with you one of the rules that I adopted that has helped tame my tendency to overprepare. It’s called Just in Time learning.
Other People's Problems
Many women find themselves involved in situations with other people that they had no intention of being in. Not only are we socialized to care about others, but even our estrogen hormone influences us to be more willing to put the needs of others before our own. If we are not intentional with how we respond to other people’s problems, it will disrupt our routines, our peace of mind, and the time we have available to deal with our own.
Don't Be Afraid to Start Over
Many people put pressure on themselves to figure out their path in life when they barely even know who they are. Those early messages from so-called authority figures can be hard to forget, especially when most people do seem to follow that advice, whether it suits them or not. If you find yourself wanting to do something else, maybe it's time to consider starting something new, whether it's in the same field or a new one.
The Cure for Perfectionism
Perfectionism may seem to be a good trait, but when you procrastinate on your plans because you want everything to be just right, this becomes a hindrance to achieving your goals. The real definition of a perfectionist is not someone whose life is perfect, it's someone who believes that it could be, wishes it were and suffers because it isn't.
In the Middle of a Shit Storm, Life Hands You Free Toilet Paper
Everyone gets to experience the ups and downs of life. There are no exemptions. There are moments when things do not go our way or something unexpected happens, and it is a situation we don’t want to be in. When confronted with difficult circumstances, how you perceive and respond to them will make things better or worse.
Zooming In , Zooming Out
When we are so focused on a goal, we can forget to stop and take in the big picture. Most driven people tend to zoom in or hyper-focus on their goals and on doing whatever is necessary to achieve them. Paying so much attention to those things means everything else going on around them just fades to black.
Change Your Story, Change Your Life
We all have stories, stories about ourselves, and stories about others. Some of these stories inspire us or drive us to do better. When our stories strengthen our belief in ourselves, our actions and decisions will reinforce them. If we believe we’ll do well and that we’re beautiful inside and out, these beliefs will be reflected in all that we think and do.
Late to the ADHD Party
Women with ADHD, depending on their subtype and especially if their hyperactivity is mental instead of physical, may not recognize themselves as someone with ADHD.
Many women would be considered high-functioning, as well, but they are still falling short of their true potential. In this episode, we talk about why and share an exercise for how to think about your history through a new lens.
Don't Suppress the Mess
Driven women have their own idea and way of how to get things done. Most of the time it is to an extent where the best must be achieved. Others may perceive it as being too much of a perfectionist or demanding. And because of this, most women who work in the corporate world and decide to venture into independent entrepreneurship often find themselves loading too much work for themselves because of hesitancy to ask for help.
A Woman with a Plan
Most of the time, people take delight or get excited more on the planning part of activities rather than the actual ‘doing’ part. Driven women are particularly not immune to this since they always have places they plan to go to, projects they want to get done, and people they want to meet. If one is not so keen on how to schedule their activities, it may get quite frustrating and counterproductive.
Driving With The Emergency Brakes On
Most women with ADHD operate with a fast-moving brain that is difficult to stop. However, since women are more relationship-oriented and tend to follow rules more effectively, they tend to be able to suppress their hyperactivity with an effective and more controlled response to certain situations. This is what I call driving with emergency brakes on.
The 6 Attributes of an Entrepreneur
Choosing the self-employment path typically means financial instability and insecurity, social and emotional isolation, added stress and pressure on romantic/intimate relationships, and increased challenges with mental health, but certain personal attributes may contribute to both choosing the entrepreneurial path and being successful as an entrepreneur.
Your Brain is
Not Your Friend
Most people think that their brain works for them, helping them to attain personal happiness, but little do they know the hard truth that it doesn’t work this way.
The opposite turns out to be true, the brain is actually the boss and its agenda is very different from yours.
Imposter complex has convinced women that despite their achievements, they are still not enough and don't see themselves as worthy of feeling successful.
This has been a common trait among highly driven women and has been called many different names over time.
In this episode, Diann talks about structuring your life to work for you and allowing positive drivers to catapult you forward.
Diann also advocates in giving yourself time to play and rest in order not to exhaust your creativity with work. She highlighted four segments in this podcast:
The Driven Woman Podcast Trailer
In this introductory trailer episode, Diann shares a peek behind the curtain at what listeners can expect to hear in future episodes, juicy topics like whether ADHD is the entrepreneur’s superpower, Diann’s beliefs about where confidence comes from, ambition shaming, and why our brains make it hard for us to stand out, instead of fitting in.
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